The truth. Live in that.

Arguments. When two people live together, they are bound to happen from time to time. We had an argument a few weeks ago that lasted nearly 3 days. Yep. That bad.

The somewhat little issues that the argument started out about became simple background noise to what the argument grew into. That’s the way arguments can spiral into something so much bigger than the real issues at hand. It becomes more about the reactions, and the things we say to each other than about whatever incident the argument started out about. The negative thoughts start and they set off a chain reaction and the next thing you know things are being said like, ” I don’t know if we can ever really be happy.” 

“All we do is argue.”, 

“you never do (fill in the blank) or you always (fill in the blank).”,

“maybe we can’t make this work.” 

Can’t. Won’t. Shouldn’t. Frustrated. Mad. Sad. Angry. Scared. Broken.Backwards. Not making progress. 

Even the word, Divorce. 

All these negative words. 

And suddenly I hear it. I really hear it.

And I say, “wait, do you hear what we are saying to each other? What are we saying to each other? Why are we saying these things? None of them are true. 

NONE OF THEM ARE TRUE!

We are good. What we have is good. This incident or that incident doesn’t define who we are or where our relationship stands. 

Look at how far we’ve come. We are a vast distance from where we started. There is progress. 

We do love each other. We do value each other. We do appreciate the effort the other makes. We can do this. We HAVE done this. We are in a better place in our lives in every way. Relationally . Spiritually. Financially. Our lives are blessed and full. 

That’s the truth.  

We had a bad day. That’s all. But we let the negative thoughts find a place in our minds to stick and then they spread like a wildfire. Planting lies as they spread. Planting seeds of insecurity and doubt and filling our heads with so much smoke that the darkness started blocking out the light. 

It can happen that easily, and it can happen that fast. Just a couple of negative thoughts can quickly trick your mind into believing that all the goodness is gone. 

So you can’t let it. 

Because it’s lies. 

It’s ALL lies. 

The goodness didn’t go anywhere. You just chose to look at something else. And by looking at that one little bad thing, it changed the way you were able to see everything else. It’s like putting a filter on a photograph. It can change the way you perceive things. It can take a bright, vibrant photo, and make it appear dark and dreary. Even though the colorful, happy image is still there, suddenly the only things you can see is the darkness and all the vast goodness that filled the image blurs into the background and becomes small in the shadow of this filter of negativity.

So be careful. 

Arguments are going to happen. 

But listen carefully to the thoughts. Listen carefully to the words you are speaking from those thoughts. Then hold them up to the light of truth. 

Are they true? Or have you allowed the negative thoughts to spiral and distort the truth? 

The lie that Jeff’s negative thoughts turned into:

“We are right back where we started, and no matter what we do or how hard I try we will always end up back there.”

The truth:

We are nowhere near where we started. Not even close. And we grow and move even further forward with every single setback. 

The lie my negative thoughts turned into:

“He’s not really sorry. He doesn’t really value me. He can’t handle the time and the patience it takes to get through this process, and I’m just not worth it to him.”

The truth: 

He is sorry. Beyond sorry. He shows me he values me every single day. He’s human and this process is frustrating. For him and for me. But he’s still here. Because I am worth it to him. 
We had a bad day. When it comes down to it. That’s all it is. Just a bad day. They happen. 

The important thing we all have to learn is to not let that bad day become our undoing. 

Deal with whatever issue is at hand without letting the negative thoughts make it something much bigger. 

And once the issue has been acknowledged, remind yourself of the good stuff. Remind yourself of the truth. 

You have to pay attention, and you have to learn to recognize those negative thoughts for what they truly are. Lies. 

The truth is the goodness all around you. Live in that. 

❤

Amy Thurston Gordy

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Love. It’s worth celebrating.

Hey y’all! It’s been a busy few weeks. I really meant to sit down and write a post last week, but never really found a good time to sit and sort through my thoughts. So this morning, I’m making the time. It’s easy to let life and the busyness of it all take control of our time, making us feel like we just don’t have any for the things we would like to do, so sometimes, we just have to create it, and purposefully carve out time for things that are important to us. 

And in doing that, it turns out I’ve actually got two posts in me today! I wrote it as one big one, but realized the end needed to be a stand alone post, so the message doesn’t end up lost in the details of what’s been going on in our every day life. So first the fun stuff, and then, be sure to hop on over to my following post titled: “The truth. Live in that.”, if you want to hear about some life truths we’ve learned in the past few weeks. 

I’m not sure where to start. 

We’ve been busy. Emily is doing great in school and working a part time job. Kate was inducted into Beta club at school this week, and we found the most perfect prom dress that ever existed for her last weekend, so that was fun. And when I say perfect, I mean perfect. She had a specific brand that she had her heart set on. An expensive one. 💰 And on top of that, she attends a Christian school with fairly strict dress codes, meaning no midriffs, no cutouts, not too short. And I just happened to see a post for a dress that fit all of the above requirements , and was the brand she wanted. We went to this lovely family’s home to see it in person. And the look on her face when she saw it hanging there was priceless. Love at first sight. But would it fit? 

She slips it on, and I zip the back. She turns around,and I kid you not, she was absolute perfection in that dress. 😍 It was as if it had been made specifically for her. Not a single thing has to be altered. It’s elegant and glamorous and has just the right amount of sparkle without going overboard. And it was at a price point that her Dad and I could be in agreement with. It was as if she had said “God, I want this specific brand in a dress that fits me perfectly and is ridiculously gorgeous ,that my parents can afford to pay for”, and He said, “you got it, here ya go!” 

If you don’t believe that God wants to give you the desires of your heart, this dress is a perfect example of Him doing just that. 

I truly believe that dress was meant specifically for her. 

How is it that my baby is going to the prom? It goes by so, so fast. Here’s a little preview. We’ll wait until prom for the full reveal!


Jeff has been co-leading a class on positive thinking at our church with his mentor. Yep. Jeff. Co-leading a class. Who would have ever thought?  ðŸ˜œ He really hasn’t had to do much leading with it, much to his relief, ha. But he had the opportunity to share a little at our class this week. As much as I would say that public speaking was out of my comfort zone, it is so much further out of his comfort zone than it ever came close to being for me. But he did a great job, so I’m proud of him for that. We’ve also had the opportunity to speak with some couples over the past few weeks that are just starting the process of trying to recover from their own revelations of infidelity in their marriages. Jeff actually met one on one and did a little counseling with one of the men. I love seeing how God uses our story and we are thankful for and humbled by the opportunities to help lead others down this path we’ve walked before them. Seeing them where they are and being reminded of that place of pain, and how far we’ve been able to move past that pain, it reminds us how blessed we are, and how thankful we are for the work God has done in us and our marriage. And it allows us to give these couples a little hope for their own future. 

We had a nice Valentine’s Day. We haven’t typically been big on going all out for Valentine’s Day in the past. But we view it a little differently these days. We should show our love and make each other feel special every day, sure. But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating a day set aside for that sole purpose. We try to honor Jesus in our hearts and lives every day, but still make a big deal out of Christmas. This is not really all that different from that concept. So if a day is set aside to honor love, and just do a little something extra, well, I say there’s just nothing but goodness in honoring that. I may have hinted rather heavily that I wanted some chocolate covered strawberries. 😉 He’s a wise man and picked up the hints I was laying down. I’m not much for $100 bouquets of flowers. I love flowers, but I’m every bit as thrilled, if not more so, with the $10 bouquets from the grocery store. I mean, have you seen them lately? They have all our favorites. Tulips, lilies, dahlias, sunflowers, all the good stuff. So don’t say Valentine’s Day is too expensive. It doesn’t take much to make us girls feel special. It’s more about the effort than the product. Jeff did a great job of picking out my gifts. Beautiful lilies, (from the grocery store!), a gift card to a local boutique, and my favorite gift, a dozen chocolate covered strawberries, also bought from a local bakery. He honestly could have gotten me those and nothing else and I would have been thrilled. 


Sweet gifts from a sweet man. Celebrate love y’all. Don’t just skip it and say it’s a gimmicky holiday created to make money. You don’t have to spend any. Make a card. Anything. Don’t miss an opportunity to celebrate love. The way the effort you make will serve to make her feel loved and treasured is no gimmick. It’s a gift. 💗

We decided it was time to start back on our home improvement projects. First thing on the list was painting the living room. So off I went to the store to pick out paint samples. We wanted something neutral, to replace the awful mustard/gold color that was the current color. That should be easy right? 

Wrong.

Turns out picking a neutral is so much harder than picking a color. There’s just so many. And so many undertones! My heart really loves the greys. The warm ones. And the cool ones. Pretty much all the greys. But alas, my sofa is brown. Like really, really brown. So I thought I could find a nice “greige” and make it work. 

Nope. Not happening. 

So after narrowing down from oh, about 31 samples,😳 


I finally settled on this warm stone/taupe. It’s called “Stone lion” from Sherwin Williams.


 I think it turned out nicely. After 2 days of painting, and my arms feeling like they may just fall off of my body, we were nearly done. There’s still about half of the white trim paint that I have left to finish. I really hate trim and am having a hard time willing myself to pick it up and finish it, ha. But I plan to finish that out this weekend. I think our next project will be pulling up the carpet and laying wood floor in the bedrooms and refinishing the existing wood floors in the living room. If I can figure out the logistics of when and how to do them with the dogs and such, so complicated! So that’s where we are with that. It’s coming along, slowly but surely. 
And speaking of slowly and surely, that’s probably a good way to describe how the whole healing from infidelity process works. We had a good 2-3 day argument a couple of weeks ago. Head on over to my next post later today to hear all about what we learned from that. 

❤

Amy Thurston Gordy