Dear 2015

Dear 2015,

Well, it’s finally here. I tossed and turned last night, unable to sleep with thoughts of all of the events you brought swirling through my mind, bringing with them a portion of anxiety and also a portion of relief that you are finally coming to an end.

In the oh so eloquent words of Miley Cyrus, you came in like a wrecking ball. From day one you came out swinging for me. You came after my finances, my health, my marriage, my security, my sanity. You started out as a strong wind, breezing in from out of nowhere day after day and randomly knocking things down. Except it didn’t seem random. It was strangely methodical. I sensed the darkness and knew that the things that were happening were not random. I knew that something was terribly off, but I just couldn’t quite put my finger on what or why. Until one day those winds kicked up and I’m suddenly and unexpectedly swept up in the eye of this tornado you had become. Suspended there, watching my world spin out of control all around me. Suddenly unable to find my bearings or tell which way was up or down. Just watching the destruction in disbelief and stunned horror as my world twisted into something I no longer recognized.

You brought me chaos, sadness, pain, anger, anxiety and torment. But I have news for you. I’m not going out like that.

My brother posted a video this week. It was of a single small tree, in the rushing flood waters of High Falls. Storm waters raging all around it, the tree is whipping around in every direction. Yet, it hangs on. Still standing though the world is in chaos around it, and its branches are bending and heavy with the force of the storm swirling around it.

In my mind I picture there are stones in the ground surrounding that little tree. I imagine its roots, weaved around those rocks, anchoring the tree in the ground so that no matter what comes, it is able to weather the storm. And when those flood waters clear, it stands firm. Resilient and strong.

Adam’s quote on that video was simply, “Be the tree.”  The fact that the video was taken at High Falls is no small detail, and is not lost on me. Those of you that know the details of my story know that it’s on the list of places that trigger painful thoughts and anxiety for me. But I saw that video and I knew it was for me. I AM the tree.

2015 brought a storm of destruction that threatened everything I knew to be true about my life. But like that tree, my roots are wrapped around the Rock. And all of those stones that hold me in place, those stones are all of you. My unwavering, amazing and beautiful support system. Rooted in Christ, and surrounded by all the people He has placed in my life. And now that the storm has passed and the world becomes a little more peaceful and the flood waters recede, I will stand just as that tree does. My branches stronger from facing the resistance of adversity. All that water meant for my destruction, instead being used to create new growth, and causing my branches to bloom into something beautiful.

So goodbye 2015. You meant to destroy me, to steal my joy. You gave it your best shot. But you. do. not. win.

I’m looking forward to sunshine and happiness in 2016. May it bring us all a year filled with countless blessings and most of all, an abundance of joy.

Happy New Year, and thank you, thank you, thank you all for being the stones that held me.

Amy Thurston Gordy

 

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Author: notmystorysite

Contact:acgordy91@gmail.com

15 thoughts on “Dear 2015”

  1. So precious! So proud of you and thankful that God will take all that was meant to harm you and turn it around for your good! Love you bunches little tree!

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  2. Been there done that. As the Donnie McClurkin song says, sometimes all you can do is “Stand.” But now … the sun IS out and 2016 IS here. You go girl! You fought and won!

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  3. I know we don’t know each other well but I want to tell you that your blog inspires…I thank our almighty God that everything that happens to us is for our good and his glory and I am sure your blog is going to touch many people and be an encouragement for them like It was for me. Believing the best for you and your family in 2016!

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  4. I found your blog entry “Dear 2015” on the Backroads /Travels Georgia Facebook page where I saw the tiny cedar tree being buffeted about, on Christmas Eve.

    So: Wow.
    I read this. And I almost thought maybe I had written this in my sleep and somehow forgotten I’d done so….yes, it seems my 2015 story is very similar to yours.

    This inspires me. Your story; and you inspire me.

    I do …… have a story, I won’t get too much into it, only to say it has an odd connection to High Falls, where I hadn’t ever walked before this year, though I’ve lived in the Perry-Macon area for 47 years.

    In my circumstance High Falls became a completely unplanned and unexpected place of stillness, peace and refuge after my life had been flooded by the attacks of satan. High Falls became a place for me to refocus on God during a professional career crisis of ethics/integrity.

    I kept feeling as though I were caught up in rapids. Sweeping me under. Drowning me. Trying to break me. Those evil attacks kept coming (through people of course). One after another. The fear, the pain, the grief, the sadness, the anxiety….pounding me on both sides.

    I repeatedly told my family to put on the full armor of God daily; because I knew, absolutely, that our family was being attacked by satan …. because of our strong faith in God. Satan attacks the strongest. The weak are an easy prey. As the unyielding attacks continued, I needed serenity, somewhere. And High Falls was so still and calm and serene this summer. …..He leadeth me beside the still waters. I randomly ended up driving there.

    1/3/2016
    We went there today, High Falls, to see the tree. The small cedar tree has become quite the little celebrity.

    I was not surprised to see: the little cedar is growing “out of” the rock. The Rock is absolutely huge, and has one deep shielded vein running back, where the cedar’s roots are completely protected. And the Rock stands massive behind the little cedar tree.

    All so much like how I view God. Our Rock. Shielding us from the worst, but letting us grow strong from the slighter force of onslaught as we stand firmly in Him. Rooted in Him.

    I pray 2016 will be a powerful year of healing, positive discovery, and unconditional love for you and your family. Amen.

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